If Text Messages Could be Sent Into the Past

The latest Cracked Podcast episode uncovers the food industry’s plan to remix wood pulp into cookies, and soundtracks it all to the best remixes and remasters we could find:

Hear that Beach Boys gem and all our past jams on the Cracked Podcast’s Spotify playlist.

Maybe it was less creepy when Paul was this age?
5 Insane First Drafts of Famous Song Lyrics

#4. Paul McCartney Gets Dirty With a Little Help From His Friends
Even though John Lennon and Paul McCartney are one of the most successful songwriting teams in the history of music, they actually didn’t collaborate that much. … But although “I Saw Her Standing There” was mostly a McCartney song, Lennon did make one significant contribution.
Published lyric: “She was just 17. You know what I mean.”
Original lyric: “She was just 17. Never been a beauty queen.”
Apparently, when Lennon heard the original lyrics, he laughed and told McCartney they were awful, leading to the much more pedo-y rewrite you know today!

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Maybe it was less creepy when Paul was this age?

5 Insane First Drafts of Famous Song Lyrics

#4. Paul McCartney Gets Dirty With a Little Help From His Friends

Even though John Lennon and Paul McCartney are one of the most successful songwriting teams in the history of music, they actually didn’t collaborate that much. … But although “I Saw Her Standing There” was mostly a McCartney song, Lennon did make one significant contribution.

Published lyric: “She was just 17. You know what I mean.”

Original lyric: “She was just 17. Never been a beauty queen.”

Apparently, when Lennon heard the original lyrics, he laughed and told McCartney they were awful, leading to the much more pedo-y rewrite you know today!

Read More

Obviously why it was on The White Dog Album.
35 Popular Songs That Don’t Mean What You Think

Obviously why it was on The White Dog Album.

35 Popular Songs That Don’t Mean What You Think

BY THE WAY: DOB continued The Cracked Podcast's commitment to ill tracks. And here’s a YouTube link to that Wu/Beatles mashup he used since it’s not on Spotify like all our other jams.

THIS WEEK: Dan O’Brien grabs the reigns of The Cracked Podcast and invites Soren Bowie and Riot’s Liana Maeby to the show to defend their terrible taste. Dan and Soren defend their love of Space Jam and The Saint, while Liana maintains her stance that The Beatles are terrible.

That’s the perfect cover art for Dress Like Poison, Cover Paul McCartney: The Bon Jovi Story.
The 5 Worst Lyric Changes in Covers of Famous Songs

#5. Bon Jovi Covers the Beatles After Suffering Apparent Brain Trauma
Lyric Change: “You may be a lover, but you ain’t no dancer” BECAME “You ain’t no lover, but you ain’t no dancer”
Wow. So whereas the Beatles were cheekily saying, “Honey, you may know how to f*ck, but you don’t know how to dance,” Bon Jovi is moronically saying “Baby, you’re not a lover, oh, and also, you are deficient in dancing. So there are two things wrong with you, really. Both f*cking and dancing. On both counts I’d have to say you are sorely lacking. Also, I’m going to go ahead and use the “but” conjunction to combine these two similar things even though that makes no grammatical sense.”

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That’s the perfect cover art for Dress Like Poison, Cover Paul McCartney: The Bon Jovi Story.

The 5 Worst Lyric Changes in Covers of Famous Songs

#5. Bon Jovi Covers the Beatles After Suffering Apparent Brain Trauma

Lyric Change: “You may be a lover, but you ain’t no dancer” BECAME “You ain’t no lover, but you ain’t no dancer”

Wow. So whereas the Beatles were cheekily saying, “Honey, you may know how to f*ck, but you don’t know how to dance,” Bon Jovi is moronically saying “Baby, you’re not a lover, oh, and also, you are deficient in dancing. So there are two things wrong with you, really. Both f*cking and dancing. On both counts I’d have to say you are sorely lacking. Also, I’m going to go ahead and use the “but” conjunction to combine these two similar things even though that makes no grammatical sense.”

Read More

BREAKING BAD FINALE SCRIPT LEAKED
Secret track name: “Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Dog!”
20 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden on Famous Albums

Secret track name: “Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Dog!”

20 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden on Famous Albums

Come on, Texas, get a KLUE.
15 True Stories That Will Make You Believe in Karma