Don’t ever fucking try to tell me that white people aren’t targeted and discriminated against for the color of their skin. Don’t ever try to fucking say that ANYONE has never been discriminated against. If you want fucking justice, then ACT on that justice.
HI UM NOPE
This headline is the deformed offspring of lies, bad reporting, and a Getty Image from 2012 taken after a man was beaten by police at the Occupy Wall Street protests.
The article cites no sources and reads like a Facebook Aunt telling a story they heard from their son’s buddy Taylor, most likely because it’s a poorly-paraphrased version of this also false article that calls itself ”White Man Cold-Cocked By Vicious Ferguson Mob In Blatant Racist Attack.” Money quote from the article:
“Most recently, a man was simply standing outside of a St. Louis McDonald’s where he was surrounded by a group of black man who punched the man in the face for no reason whatsoever. Seemingly unprovoked, the group intentionally targeted this man for nothing more than his skin color in a backwards attempt at justice for Mike Brown.”
Ah, yes, the classic “for no reason whatsoever” immediately followed by “for nothing more than his skin color in a backwards attempt at justice for Mike Brown” trick. That old reporting chestnut.
Anyway. The tale of an entire mob attacking this man was
followed up by showing these tweets, where the story originated:
This is all from the same article, mind you. There’s a paragraph describing a mob of black men attacking this white guy, and then they show the actual source describing a single black man punching the guy in the face once. Also? The Knockout Game doesn’t exist.
So really, “Black Man Punches White Man In Face, Other Black Men Try To Apprehend Black Man Who Punched White Man In Face,” because Ferguson’s hero-to-asshole ratio is actually through the fucking roof.
Anyway. It sucks that the guy got punched a couple weeks ago, but if you’re going to lie about it, try being just so much better at lying.
Cracked shouldn’t be the “journalists” catching this kind of thing. If you read something that sounds outrageous but tickles that part of your brain that wants it to be true, there’s a good chance it’s made up specifically to do that tickling. Take twenty minutes to research it before sharing or you sound like an idiot.
i’ve seen people make fun of cracked for it’s list format and some other stuff, but damn if they don’t thoroughly research the topics they make jokes about. funny AND informative.
I love cracked, actually.
Meh. Not sold on ‘em yet
NASHVILLE: come see us do comedy, music, and a podcast live! And meet us too (no touching of DOB’s face)!But can I touch sorenbowie's face
Depends if your reflexes are fast enough
This is tonight and you can get a $5 ticket right here.
It’s partly up to the club BUT we’ve been talking to them about it and we’re planning on hanging out after for as long as our collective social anxiety can stand it.
Couple of $5 tickets left for whoever jumps on them first.
And to those swift sons’a bitches who do, we say well done and see you tomorrow.
Hey buddy! See you Wednesday!
And CinemaSins breaks down everything wrong with a movie as quickly/specifically/brilliantly as possible, occasionally for us and mainly on their killer YouTube channel. Check them out. Run don’t walk. Honestly jealous today’s the day you see their stuff for the first time.
Tickets are going fast for this show and we’re expecting a lot of walk ins, so get your tickets now! There are two stages of anxiety I have for every show, and we’ve recently entered the second. Here they are:
Stage One: No one is going to come to this show, it’s just going to be me on stage plus some drunks that wandered in by mistake and maybe every bully I’ve ever had. I’m going to perform for eight people who won’t laugh and the promoter will be mad at me and everyone will be mad and I will have done a bad job. I wish I’d never agreed to do this.
Stage Two: We sold how many tickets? Oh, shit that’s a lot. Oh no. Okay. Oh no. That’s a lot of people to disappoint, okay, crap, farts, oh no. What if i do a terrible job and they’re all mad? What if I do a GREAT job and they want to talk to me after? How do I make sure I’m the thing they want me to be? Oh no. I wish I’d never agreed to do this.
Anyway I hope you like my jokes. Performing live is my favorite thing to do that will ultimately kill me from the inside out.
We did a stand-up show there earlier this year! Also DOB will be there mid-October. And we’re usually in town for the Webbys (if we’re nominated (which we tend to be (because our fans are the greatest))).
And we’d love to put on another NYC show soon, especially if this Nashville show (tickets still available) turns out to be a fun time. Any place you’d recommend we do it?
NASHVILLE: come see us do comedy, music, and a podcast live! And meet us too (no touching of DOB’s face)!
Karen Jones you are a next-level Cracked fan and we salute you for it.
NASHVILLE: We will be in you Sept. 24th at 7:30pm. Our resident rapper-laureate MS Werd (Michael Swaim) is bringing Soren Bowie, Cody Johnston, Jack O’Brien, Daniel O’Brien, David Wong and more of your site favorites to Zanies Nashville with a veritable assfull of stand-up comedy, music, factoids, un-aired sketches, panels, podcasts, and list-formatted musings. Come meet the gang, hear some things, see some things, think some things, and who knows…maybe even feel some things, too.* It’s the biggest CRACKED show ever, and it’s happening near you! OH, FRABJOUS DAY!
*Not a guarantee. Offer not valid for sociopaths.That’s right! We’ve heard your requests to bring the Cracked Live Experience on the road and we decided “Okay will go to one other place.” Come see us in Nashville next month doing jokes, signing things, running around and eating very spicy chicken. I’ll be performing ten minutes of brand new stand-up and 24 hours of not new being uncomfortable in crowds.