Hi Dan, I really liked your book and the Cracked videos you've been writing/creating lately, but I miss your Friday columns. Are you ever going to go back to being a regular Cracked columnist or are you just too busy with other projects? P.S. You are awesome.
Anonymous

thisdanobrien:

Thanks for the kind words! Unfortunately, my other responsibilities at Cracked make it impossible to keep up a weekly column-writing schedule. That column was a fun little playground for me and I loved having a regular spot, but I won’t say that it was the BEST thing for my general anxiety. I miss it, but if I still had to do a weekly column on top of all other responsibilities I’m pretty sure my brain would leak out of my butt.

The BEST thing about me not having a weekly column is that we’ve been able to bring a bunch new columnists into the fold and I’m super stoked to watch them all grow and challenge themselves. There’s an energy and hunger inherent to being a new columnist (Kathy Benjamin, Cezary Jan Struciewiscz, JF Sargent, Winston Rowntree, Pauli Poisuo, C. Coville, Luis Prada and an even larger list of roving columnists like Jason Iannone and Mark Hill) that’s really exciting to me. Keep an eye on ‘em, because they’re all doing some pretty cool stuff.

P.S. YOU are awesome.

In case you’re not familiar with our new columnists/longtime kickass writers, memorize these names:

And of course you can always catch up on the works of Dam O. Brian.

dontsitaround:

Surprise!Daniel O’Brien at the bottom of the Cracked app when you flip the iPad is way funnier to me than it should be.

Fill your giant tablet with tiny DOBs today!

We have a sigil. You need a t-shirt. Let’s do this.

We have a sigil. You need a t-shirt. Let’s do this.

Game of Thrones is almost back, so we made ourselves a sigil.

Game of Thrones is almost back, so we made ourselves a sigil.

startthemachine:

Represent.

We’ve got a whole pin board for those old magazine covers, because even though we’re not that same publication anymore, we like fun illustrations as much as the next former-joke-mag.

startthemachine:

Represent.

We’ve got a whole pin board for those old magazine covers, because even though we’re not that same publication anymore, we like fun illustrations as much as the next former-joke-mag.

As we launch Rom.Com, we’re already working on our next Cracked Studios production. (Our #makeup by @missbruehl) #BehindTheScenes #Faces

As we launch Rom.Com, we’re already working on our next Cracked Studios production. (Our #makeup by @missbruehl) #BehindTheScenes #Faces

Find production photos, live show vids, script sneak peeks and more on our Behind The Scenes pin board.

Find production photos, live show vids, script sneak peeks and more on our Behind The Scenes pin board.

I'm a senior at my university, and I was wondering if you guys were still letting people write articles for you. While I would like to be a writer by trade, I'm somewhat uncertain in my abilities (hence my major in Human Resource Management). I haven't visited the workshop yet, but I was wondering if you could offer any tips/encouragement. By the way, love the blog, love the website, love the writers. I don't know what I'd do without my daily Cracked fix.

lilytakeson:

cracked:

Hey friend! Yes we are still letting people write articles for us, in fact we’re really really hoping you will. If there’s an article on our site and it’s not by one of our columnists, it most likely came from someone like you who followed those steps.

Pitch us. Be prolific. Help us give you money.

I’m gonna do this.

image

How to Write an Article (A Step-By-Step Guide)

doc-sarge:

  1. Write a first draft. It’ll be awful, but that’s okay.
  2. Write a second draft. It’ll be worse somehow. That’ll be discouraging, but just keep going.
  3. Third draft. At this point, you should start to see… okay, no, never mind, this draft is pretty bad too. That’s okay.
  4. Maybe the fourth draft is… Nope.
  5. Drink.
  6. Okay, this is ridiculous. Nobody writes six drafts of a stupid comedy listicle. You’re not William Faulkner. It’s supposed to be easier than this. Everyone else is better at this than you.
  7. Sleep, because it’s fucking 3AM in the fucking morning.
  8. Why can’t you fall asleep.
  9. Watch Archer. Start to hate Archer. Feel bad, because you’re taking out your frustration unfairly. Apologize to Archer.
  10. Freak out a little bit because you have a more complicated relationship with a TV show than any actual person. 
  11. And not even a character on the show — the abstract concept of the show itself.
  12. Deadline’s here. Time to submit you’re cut-rate poser bullshit and hope it doesn’t get you fired.
  1. Write a first draft. It’ll be awful, but that’s okay.

Embrace the fear. Write for us.

Instead of the usual dispensary stuff like graphic tees etc, do you guys and gals at cracked sell shirts or anything with the C on it? Like a red and gold shirt with the cracked "C"?

We’ve got this alumni shirt, which comes in many colors beyond this red/gold look:

image

And our “C” lives among lots of other typography on this “Elements of Cracked” shirt design:

image

Also HOLY CRAP MORDECAI IS A CRACKED FAN what’s Skips like in real life?