1. Obama’s War on Religion
2. The War on Christmas
3. Liberal War on Success
4. War on Fossil Fuels
5. Obama’s Gay War on Marriage
6. Michelle Obama’s War on Food
7. The War on Men
8. The War on Women
Thanks, Really Fox News. This was for you.
Look, we don’t want to take all of the magic out of life. After all, can “science” and “mathematics” quantify something as mysterious as the beauty of music, or the evil of the human spirit, or the madness of a panicked mob?
Yeah, pretty much. Get enough data, create the best algorithm, and you can get some nice pretty graphs that tell you…
Organic shampoo. Picked straight from the shampoo bushes of the local shampoo farms.
“
| — | Mark Hill, 6 Simple Products That Advertisers Pretend Are Complicated |
I want to join the Cracked forums but I can’t think of a good username. There’s so much pressure
“Loaded In Owls” sounds fine to us.
“When did optimism become a bad thing? Modern filmmakers are bent on taking popular, existing properties and bringing out the darkest and grittiest aspects they can find and making that their story. When directors look at a character like Superman, they’re not saying, “Hey, I’d like to tell a story about this guy in blue and red spandex who loves America and punches bad guys and smiles and is handsome!” They’re saying, “Sure, Superman, but what makes him angry? I want to focus on the stuff that depresses him, I want to see Superman as a badass. What if Superman was a dick? That’s the movie I want to make, because even though I’m making a Superman movie, I don’t actually care for the character. My name is Zack Snyder.”
-Daniel O’ Brien, 3 Movies They Don’t Make Anymore (But Really Should)
The Worst Decision Ever Made In the Harry Potter Universe
Five hundred points to Clearly Evil House!
suicide
Cracked last night…
There was almost no more Sophie and a lifeless body on my bedroom floor. I never wanted to do do much than that moment… I mean I’ve been close before… A failed suicide attempt… I mean that is horrible
Under the “Cracked” tag, a person can find one of three things:
- Links and Photos from Cracked.com.
- Posts about cracking Minecraft servers.
- Posts like the above.
Sophie, I won’t pretend to know what you’re going through, or what you’ve gone through. I can’t say, “It’s okay,” because I don’t know that. But I know that it can be okay. Be strong. And if you ever need someone to talk to, the Internet has that now.
Anyway.
Back to blogging about how easy Winnie The Pooh’s Homerun Derby is.
We all know that nature is mankind’s archnemesis, all scheming down there in its volcano lair, nursing a mad murderection for all of humanity. But we often forget that man is an apex predator, and we get to play the survival game on easy level. As many unimaginable horrors as Mother Nature enjoys throwing at us, there are other, less fortunate animals out there who live their entire lives hunted by the kind of creatures that make horror movie villains pale in comparison.
