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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Will It Be Terrible?

#4. The Story: Has Been Rewritten Four Times
The first draft of the movie was a gritty origin story written by the same guy who wrote Young Guns and Hidalgo, so we can only assume that in this version of the film the turtles were a mischievous band of troublemaking outlaws and the Shredder was an evil rancher. Paramount decided that script was “too edgy” (which is industry speak for “Michelangelo gets high on bath salts and eats his own face”), so they commissioned a rewrite from the two storytelling heavyweights responsible for Now You See Me, the Woody Harrelson movie about fake magicians. Finally, they brought in the guy who wrote Snow White and the Huntsman to do one last polish. So, four different writers, collectively responsible for some of the most forgettable films ever produced, whipped up a new Ninja Turtles movie for us.

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That joke took an army of guys with FinalDraft.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Will It Be Terrible?

#4. The Story: Has Been Rewritten Four Times

The first draft of the movie was a gritty origin story written by the same guy who wrote Young Guns and Hidalgo, so we can only assume that in this version of the film the turtles were a mischievous band of troublemaking outlaws and the Shredder was an evil rancher. Paramount decided that script was “too edgy” (which is industry speak for “Michelangelo gets high on bath salts and eats his own face”), so they commissioned a rewrite from the two storytelling heavyweights responsible for Now You See Me, the Woody Harrelson movie about fake magicians. Finally, they brought in the guy who wrote Snow White and the Huntsman to do one last polish. So, four different writers, collectively responsible for some of the most forgettable films ever produced, whipped up a new Ninja Turtles movie for us.

Read More

  1. screenwrite1 reblogged this from cracked and added:
    TMNT!
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  11. shorthandincrayon reblogged this from drawology and added:
    Vitally important, tbh
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  14. sanzako reblogged this from snuffes and added:
    Guys, Cracked made the question all of us are asking.
  15. bearded-glory reblogged this from cracked and added:
    I don’t care… my inner 90s kid is gonna drag me to this fucking movie
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