Please enjoy Luke McKinney’s original takedown of America’s least original dickbag.
Why Shia LaBeouf Is Hollywood’s New King of Jerks

Ladies and gentlemen, Project Hollywood has succeeded. Decades ago, we constructed an artificial environment disconnected from humanity. Its only function was to create even more artificial scenarios even further disconnected from humanity. After billions of dollars, this philosofractal metamaze has realized its ultimate goal: an utterly oblivious human. A man with less self-reflection than Dracula. A man so geocentrically self-centered, he thinks the sun is a stage light constantly searching for his best side. A man so lacking in self-awareness, he’s invisible to Zen Buddhists. A man who pushed the limits of assholing harder than Goatse. May I present: Homo Shia.

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Please enjoy Luke McKinney’s original takedown of America’s least original dickbag.

Why Shia LaBeouf Is Hollywood’s New King of Jerks

Ladies and gentlemen, Project Hollywood has succeeded. Decades ago, we constructed an artificial environment disconnected from humanity. Its only function was to create even more artificial scenarios even further disconnected from humanity. After billions of dollars, this philosofractal metamaze has realized its ultimate goal: an utterly oblivious human. A man with less self-reflection than Dracula. A man so geocentrically self-centered, he thinks the sun is a stage light constantly searching for his best side. A man so lacking in self-awareness, he’s invisible to Zen Buddhists. A man who pushed the limits of assholing harder than Goatse. May I present: Homo Shia.

Read More

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    Went inn
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    "You could prolapse into a bucket of bleach and not be such a painfully white asshole."This is quite possibly the...
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  25. apophatic reblogged this from franklinmarshall and added:
    I have now been paid more because of Shia’s movie than Daniel Clowes, the man who wrote it.
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