Please enjoy Luke McKinney’s original takedown of America’s least original dickbag.
Why Shia LaBeouf Is Hollywood’s New King of Jerks

Ladies and gentlemen, Project Hollywood has succeeded. Decades ago, we constructed an artificial environment disconnected from humanity. Its only function was to create even more artificial scenarios even further disconnected from humanity. After billions of dollars, this philosofractal metamaze has realized its ultimate goal: an utterly oblivious human. A man with less self-reflection than Dracula. A man so geocentrically self-centered, he thinks the sun is a stage light constantly searching for his best side. A man so lacking in self-awareness, he’s invisible to Zen Buddhists. A man who pushed the limits of assholing harder than Goatse. May I present: Homo Shia.

Read More

Please enjoy Luke McKinney’s original takedown of America’s least original dickbag.

Why Shia LaBeouf Is Hollywood’s New King of Jerks

Ladies and gentlemen, Project Hollywood has succeeded. Decades ago, we constructed an artificial environment disconnected from humanity. Its only function was to create even more artificial scenarios even further disconnected from humanity. After billions of dollars, this philosofractal metamaze has realized its ultimate goal: an utterly oblivious human. A man with less self-reflection than Dracula. A man so geocentrically self-centered, he thinks the sun is a stage light constantly searching for his best side. A man so lacking in self-awareness, he’s invisible to Zen Buddhists. A man who pushed the limits of assholing harder than Goatse. May I present: Homo Shia.

Read More

  1. indiechild01 reblogged this from cracked
  2. fisheeluver94 reblogged this from luxury--problem
  3. camiliin reblogged this from cracked
  4. daddyselephant reblogged this from cracked
  5. funismajin reblogged this from cracked
  6. gamingtimeladyfromgallifrey reblogged this from jetpackexhaust
  7. zap-actions-dower reblogged this from jetpackexhaust
  8. gentlemensocial reblogged this from cracked
  9. movingontothenextchapter reblogged this from cracked
  10. langstable reblogged this from cracked
  11. notfaquarl reblogged this from cracked
  12. viv-bot reblogged this from cracked
  13. zoomzurazoom reblogged this from cracked and added:
    Went inn
  14. myidentity reblogged this from davidkendall
  15. audio-and-anglophile reblogged this from cracked
  16. cheywolff reblogged this from cracked
  17. let-them-eatcake-goddammit reblogged this from final-descent
  18. final-descent reblogged this from jetpackexhaust and added:
    "You could prolapse into a bucket of bleach and not be such a painfully white asshole."This is quite possibly the...
  19. knowledgeisnotwisdom reblogged this from cracked
  20. agirlcalledfrost reblogged this from muffinw
  21. kirbuu reblogged this from cracked
  22. satorarepotenetoperarotas reblogged this from cracked
  23. ive-got-ham-but-im-not-a-hamster reblogged this from cracked
  24. robynsiaheap reblogged this from cracked
  25. thezoologist2008 reblogged this from cracked
  26. apophatic reblogged this from franklinmarshall and added:
    I have now been paid more because of Shia’s movie than Daniel Clowes, the man who wrote it.