"How many times in your life have you seen some drunken dumbass stand up on a table at 11:59 on December 31, and proudly proclaim to the world, ‘This is my last cigarette!’ And you’re all like, ‘Get down from there, Mom! And that’s a dildo.’” — John Cheese #CrackedClassic
5 Reasons Your New Year’s Resolution Is Going to Fail

"How many times in your life have you seen some drunken dumbass stand up on a table at 11:59 on December 31, and proudly proclaim to the world, ‘This is my last cigarette!’ And you’re all like, ‘Get down from there, Mom! And that’s a dildo.’” — John Cheese #CrackedClassic

5 Reasons Your New Year’s Resolution Is Going to Fail

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    In case you don’t believe it, every year my family and I can’t wait till St. Patrick’s day because that’s when all the...
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