Knights of the Old Republic puts the “high” in “Jedi” DON’T TELL ME IT’S NOT THERE
The Adventures of Dick Earthquake, Jedi Shithead

You see, Dick Earthquake had spent almost the entirety of his quest hopped up on a rip-roaring speedball of exotic painkillers, muscle relaxants, and brain ticklers. Whenever he slew a Dark Jedi or xenobiological gangster — and Dick slew hundreds — he inevitably found a passel of stims tucked away on the corpse. Yes, our hero had amassed a mighty collection of mind-altering stimulants. It was as if the entire cosmos was populated solely by truck drivers.

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Knights of the Old Republic puts the “high” in “Jedi” DON’T TELL ME IT’S NOT THERE

The Adventures of Dick Earthquake, Jedi Shithead

You see, Dick Earthquake had spent almost the entirety of his quest hopped up on a rip-roaring speedball of exotic painkillers, muscle relaxants, and brain ticklers. Whenever he slew a Dark Jedi or xenobiological gangster — and Dick slew hundreds — he inevitably found a passel of stims tucked away on the corpse. Yes, our hero had amassed a mighty collection of mind-altering stimulants. It was as if the entire cosmos was populated solely by truck drivers.

Read More

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