When J.F. Sargent’s not an Anger Balrog of fury, he’s still got plenty of self-analysis ahead of him.
6 Weird Things Everyone Misunderstands About Anger
#6. The Difference Between Letting Go of Anger and Suppressing It Isn’t Clear
The idea is that you’re supposed to let go of the things that you can’t control and fight to control the things you can — only that’s insane, because most stuff doesn’t clearly fall into one of those categories. What if you hate your job? What if you hate where you live? What if your cat won’t stop meowing? You have to do a lot of investigating and careful thinking to figure out if those are problems that you can actually fix or if they’re issues you just have to accept — and that’s damn near impossible when you’re angry. So the real prerequisite to all this anger advice is that you need to learn to control your anger — but what’s the difference between that and suppressing it?
Oh to have those lost, turtlenecked, possibly-not-good-but-who-knows episodes back.
7 Amazing Works of Pop Culture That Have Been Lost Forever
#6. Nearly 100 Episodes of Doctor Who (and Other Shows)
We bring up the cult sci-fi series about a reincarnating time-traveler because it’s currently missing 97 of its 800 episodes after the BBC had wiped the tapes containing them, in a foolish but noble effort to weaken the show’s fanatical fanbase, probably. It apparently didn’t work, though, because ever since then, BBC has been desperately scouring the globe for the lost episodes, some of which have turned up in attics, garage sales, far-flung former parts of the British Empire like Nigeria or Hong Kong, and the basement of a Mormon Church in London.
This time, that’s no moon. Although with so much trippy, swoopy stuff going on in Van Gogh’s original painting, his work’s “moon” could easily be a nub of cheese and we’d never know. This design from Buko melds the Empire’s classical badness with the tortured genius of an artist who battled his own dark side his whole life. Get it in black, and boom! You’re an orange pair of pants/booty shorts away from the perfect Halloween hangout ensemble. [GET IT HERE]
Somewhere along the line, for reasons that are utterly beyond me, TV’s Adam Baldwin got involved. Do you know how weird it is to see an actor from a show you love repost conspiracy videos about how your sex life is somehow ruining video games? Pretty goddamned weird, it turns out. A friend suggested that ever since his stint as Jayne on Firefly, Baldwin is afraid of women named Zoe. That at least took the sting out of no longer being able to watch one of my favorite shows without scowling so hard I sprain my face.
I was at a bar with friends when I first caught a whiff of the impending shitstorm. We were having birthday drinks when someone reached out to tell me that my ex had written a screed about our relationship that had been posted to a forum I belong to. Slowly, horrifically, we discovered that he had posted it to several other popular forums (that had immediately nuked it) and created a Wordpress blog that was literally nothing but his 10,000-word rant about our failed relationship. Shortly after that, we found Wikipedia edits on my page that had altered my date of death to coincide with planned public appearances (or, in one case, simply “soon”).
“5 Things I Learned as the Internet’s Most Hated Person” by Zoe Quinn
Despite the obvious superiority of gritty reboots, many old shows and movies are still lying around uselessly in stupid non-darkness, waiting for Hollywood to sprinkle them with some harsh, family-killing reality. So we’ve created some guidelines for any Hollywood producers reading Cracked about how to reboot these classics at their most grittiest.
5 Beloved Icons That Need a Gritty Reboot
#5. Make Sure You Use A Washed-Out Palette
For example, Man of Steel showcased a Superman so conflicted he couldn’t even remember what colors Superman wears.
Reboot Suggestion: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
We’re assuming the upcoming Power Rangers reboot has a new, gritty plot well in hand, and so all we’re going to suggest is that they make the palette as bleak and hopeless as the new world the Rangers will face.