If you’re not careful, you might be all that stands between your friend and the creation of that kind of list.
4 Socially Awkward Pitfalls of Group Conversations

#3. Being the Only Remaining Member of a Former Group Conversation
The sole listener is a noble yet unenviable position. Losing an entire group’s attention — especially friends — can cripple a person’s social confidence. The lone listener is taking a bullet for the good of the group. No one wants to be bummed out by the puppy-dog eyes of the person who saw their buddies abandon their words one by one. The listener doesn’t want to be rude like everyone who fled the conversation, but they can’t begrudge them either. The listener probably wanted to bail on that verbal train wreck too, but was too late. It’s a conversational version of trying to not be the last person to yell “Not it!”

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If you’re not careful, you might be all that stands between your friend and the creation of that kind of list.

4 Socially Awkward Pitfalls of Group Conversations

#3. Being the Only Remaining Member of a Former Group Conversation

The sole listener is a noble yet unenviable position. Losing an entire group’s attention — especially friends — can cripple a person’s social confidence. The lone listener is taking a bullet for the good of the group. No one wants to be bummed out by the puppy-dog eyes of the person who saw their buddies abandon their words one by one. The listener doesn’t want to be rude like everyone who fled the conversation, but they can’t begrudge them either. The listener probably wanted to bail on that verbal train wreck too, but was too late. It’s a conversational version of trying to not be the last person to yell “Not it!”

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unpops:

So if that’s a supervolcano…

…why are we all super chill about the one sitting under Yellowstone right now?

THIS WEEK ON THE PODCAST: Do you have what it takes to survive a mega earthquake? Will the zombies just kind of wear themselves out? What good is hiding in a basement during a nuclear blast if the radiation will just kill all of us a week later anyway? Host Adam Tod Brown welcomes Brett Rader and Cracked editor Alex Schmidt to discuss all of this and more!

Apocalyptic Scenarios You’d Probably Survive

Pauli Poisuo isn’t saying every porn star out there is a paragon of sanity. It’s just that having substance abuse, depression, and regret stemming from your job is as likely to describe triple-X thespians as Walmart staffers.
4 Reasons Porn Stars Are Nothing Like You Think

#3. Porn Stars Are Not Insecure Bundles of Mental Issues
On average, [Psychology Today says] porn stars are in fact mentally a lot stronger than the average person. … The heaping helpings of self-esteem porn stars seemingly possess are speculated to be due to a trait called sociosexuality, a form of social promiscuity that makes the person more willing to indulge in sexual relations outside their normal relationship. This trait, which you may recognize as the exact description of the profession of a porn star, is usually present in people who tend to be socially bold and assertive.

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Pauli Poisuo isn’t saying every porn star out there is a paragon of sanity. It’s just that having substance abuse, depression, and regret stemming from your job is as likely to describe triple-X thespians as Walmart staffers.

4 Reasons Porn Stars Are Nothing Like You Think

#3. Porn Stars Are Not Insecure Bundles of Mental Issues

On average, [Psychology Today says] porn stars are in fact mentally a lot stronger than the average person. … The heaping helpings of self-esteem porn stars seemingly possess are speculated to be due to a trait called sociosexuality, a form of social promiscuity that makes the person more willing to indulge in sexual relations outside their normal relationship. This trait, which you may recognize as the exact description of the profession of a porn star, is usually present in people who tend to be socially bold and assertive.

Read More

Elmer Fudd’s Letters Home

thisdanobrien:

May 14th, 1972

Dear Mom,

Hi Mom! Gosh, where do I start? The weather’s been good (perfect for rabbit season), sessions with my speech therapist seem to be going well (I hope to be able to wish you a “MERRY” Christmas this year, not “Mewwy.” That’ll be my gift to you!) and I’m making lots of friends.

But holy cow, all I REALLY want to talk about is this girl I met. Sorry, this woman. I met someone, Mom, someone special.I know I have a habit of rushing into things but, Mom, I think she’s the one. She’s so beautiful, she’s so sweet (but still kind of sassy) and she doesn’t even seem to mind my speech impediment. She accepts me, just when I thought that kind of thing would be impossible. She’s so confident, she’s on another level, I just want to give her everything to see what she can make out of it. What she even sees in a dummy like me is anyone’s guess.

OH, and best of all I met her while hunting, if you can believe it. She’s into hunting! She was just out in the woods and I found her—well, we found each other. We didn’t even speak at first, because we didn’t NEED to, there was just this CONNECTION. Instantly. So much went unspoken, it was like we were waiting for each other. She wasn’t shy about approaching me and, bizarrely, I wasn’t shy either, because we just worked together, immediately. We kissed! Right when we met! I love her. I LOVE HER!

I don’t think I knew what love was, before. I had a dim understanding of it, from movies and songs, and I remember what you and Dad were like together, but until I met Her, I only understood love anecdotally, as a bystander. I finally feel like I’m a participant, and I never thought I would be. Beyond that, I feel lucky. I’m not saying “I’m lucky because I get to be with her,” I’m saying “I’m lucky because I get the privilege of loving her.” Do you understand that, does that make sense? Even if she didn’t love me back, I will forever be grateful just for getting the opportunity to love her. Because I know what my life was like before I loved her, and I don’t even think I would call that a life, now. It feels so good to love her, to have love inside of me, to feel what normal people feel. I get to love her, do you understand? I get to. I’m allowed to. I weep at how lucky that makes me. Mom, I weep.

Listen to me, going on and on about this woman. We’re supposed to meet up in the woods again tomorrow. I’m going to ask her if she wants to go dancing with me. I don’t really dance, but I know most women like doing it so I looked up places that offer Salsa lessons for couples and there are some affordable ones in my area. I figured a dancing class would be a nice date. We can be close and we can talk, and we can move together.

I’ve rambled enough. I gotta get ready for tomorrow. I don’t even know how I’m going to sleep!

Love and Respect Forever,

Your Son Elmer

PS I know things must get lonely around the house since Dad’s passing, but remember that your “Lil’ Elmmy” loves you and is always thinking about you. I wish I could be by your side right now, but of course I have to try to catch and sell enough animals so we can afford to keep the house (I’ve included a check for $25; it’s all I made last week). It’ll get easier, Mom, I swear to God it’ll get easier. It’s going to be a good year. I can feel it.

_______________________________________

May 15, 1972

Mom,

Disregard previous letter. It was a boy rabbit in a dress. I don’t know why he did it. Don’t ask me about it.

PS I don’t think I ever learned how to be happy.

-Fudd

John Cheese says the talk is good, but a combination Chuck E. Cheese/strip bar is better.
5 Things Parents Forget About Being a Teenager

#5. Talking Isn’t Enough After a Breakup
As a teenager, this is all new ground. Even if you’ve been through a few breakups, it’s still new in the relative sense. The feelings of heartbreak, loneliness, depression, and sadness are like a solar flare to an adult’s pilot light, because teenagers are still in the throes of new hormones and chemical changes that have no pity on the human emotional center. … Yes, they know that they need to not linger on the past. But doing that is another monster entirely. They need to get up and do things, because activity is the sword that slays the dragon. Note: The dragon in this case is depression. If you find your teen having to battle an actual dragon, you’ll need to form a balanced party of healers, a good tank, and some high-end DPS, working as a fluid team.

Read More

John Cheese says the talk is good, but a combination Chuck E. Cheese/strip bar is better.

5 Things Parents Forget About Being a Teenager

#5. Talking Isn’t Enough After a Breakup

As a teenager, this is all new ground. Even if you’ve been through a few breakups, it’s still new in the relative sense. The feelings of heartbreak, loneliness, depression, and sadness are like a solar flare to an adult’s pilot light, because teenagers are still in the throes of new hormones and chemical changes that have no pity on the human emotional center. … Yes, they know that they need to not linger on the past. But doing that is another monster entirely. They need to get up and do things, because activity is the sword that slays the dragon. Note: The dragon in this case is depression. If you find your teen having to battle an actual dragon, you’ll need to form a balanced party of healers, a good tank, and some high-end DPS, working as a fluid team.

Read More

That party has such amazing chemistry!
5 Creative Marketing Promotions That Failed Spectacularly

#5. Jagermeister Sponsors a Pool Party, Turns the Water into Poison
Like most disastrous plans, this one looked pretty sweet on paper. “We’re the prime party beverage for frat boys who are already too drunk to know what they’re ingesting, so let’s throw them a big, sexy pool party! It’ll be sexy ladies in bathing suits and hunky dudes all partying in sunny Mexico, with plenty of Jagermeister to go around!” Sounds great! “Oh, and you know what would be really cool? If the swimming pool had this cool mist coming off of it, like in a music video or some shit. Let’s dump a bunch of liquid nitrogen into the water! Shit, I wonder why nobody has tried this before!?!”

Read More

That party has such amazing chemistry!

5 Creative Marketing Promotions That Failed Spectacularly

#5. Jagermeister Sponsors a Pool Party, Turns the Water into Poison

Like most disastrous plans, this one looked pretty sweet on paper. “We’re the prime party beverage for frat boys who are already too drunk to know what they’re ingesting, so let’s throw them a big, sexy pool party! It’ll be sexy ladies in bathing suits and hunky dudes all partying in sunny Mexico, with plenty of Jagermeister to go around!” Sounds great! “Oh, and you know what would be really cool? If the swimming pool had this cool mist coming off of it, like in a music video or some shit. Let’s dump a bunch of liquid nitrogen into the water! Shit, I wonder why nobody has tried this before!?!”

Read More

sleepybrowneyes:

seifukucat:

googled “dog swearing” and wasn’t disappointed

His fucking look of determination. Like, “you’re going to fucking jail Greg.”

sleepybrowneyes:

seifukucat:

googled “dog swearing” and wasn’t disappointed

His fucking look of determination. Like, “you’re going to fucking jail Greg.”

Hey so ‘space aliens’ might just be time-traveling humans from the future. And watch all the Today’s Topics you can on our handy YouTube playlist so no other future development can sneak up on you.

Stealing so lazy, they didn’t even give Eastwood’s man a name.
16 Famous Characters That Are Secretly Ripoffs

Stealing so lazy, they didn’t even give Eastwood’s man a name.

16 Famous Characters That Are Secretly Ripoffs

'A 60 Second Guide to Learning the Awful Truth About Yourself' by David Wong

This won’t take but a minute, and I promise this won’t be a waste of your time. It’s three steps…
Step 1: Get out a pen and paper. You don’t need much, an old receipt or something. Write down, in just a few words, what you did yesterday. Leave out the sleeping, eating, pooping, etc. And be totally honest, nobody is going to see it but you. So maybe it’s something like:
8 am - 5 pm: working; 5 pm - 7 pm: browsing the Internet, catching up with everybody on facebook, masturbating; 8 pm - 9 pm: talking on phone with a friend; 9 pm - midnight: playing an iPhone game, scrolling through Netflix menus
Perfect, you’re half done. If you want to stop and take a break, enjoy this animated gif:

image

CONTINUE