But don’t worry: the really cool stuff like midichlorians is ALL LUCAS.
We wanted to know what it’s like to deal with schizophrenia on a day-to-day, non-Fight Club basis, so we sat down with a woman who suffers from it.
#4. Voices Don’t Make You Do Terrible Things
Back when all of this first began, one of the voices started giving me graphic instructions to kill a particularly dickish teacher I had. This troubled me, to say the least. This was before I knew that everyone regarded me as a potential serial killer, so I went to the school counselor, who immediately flipped precisely all of her shit(s). That’s an understandable reaction, but fear of that response is what keeps a lot of mentally ill folk from getting help — it took a lot of pleading to convince her that I wasn’t going to return to school with an Uzi. In fact, the only time I’ve come anywhere close to violence since was the result of a medication called Haldol that I was taking, which causes mood swings. Even then, it was pretty much limited to screaming at my husband to get off my back about the damn dishes.
So earlier in the year I wrote this book for Adams Media. It’s a collection of funny reviews from around the internet. It has pictures and stuff and is a really good gift book for the humor-enjoying person in your life.
The book is now available for preorder on Amazon at this link: the…
Yet another Cracked writer being awesome!
Does the way we feel about baseball hot streaks…
…parallel our fear of terrorist attacks?
THIS WEEK: Jack O’Brien, David Wong, and Daniel O’Brien discuss some of the more deceiving statistics in our world. From “Let’s Make A Deal” probabilities to how likely it is you’ll be eaten by a shark, find out why your common sense is worthless and your brain fails at math most every time.
Unsurprisingly, those French folks surrendered to police.
#5. French Tourists Get Drunk, Cause a Terrorism Scare
Back in 2011, five Frenchmen were touring the United States and ended up in Texas. For reasons that were never made explicit but almost certainly boil down to “ask the alcohol,” the tourists decided it would be great fun to don sombreros, break into a San Antonio courthouse in the middle of the night, steal a judge’s gavel, and swing it around like the Mightily Plastered Thor. Sounds like good, clean, innocent debauchery to us!
NASHVILLE: come see us do comedy, music, and a podcast live! And meet us too (no touching of DOB’s face)!But can I touch sorenbowie's face
Depends if your reflexes are fast enough
This has been a public service message to all of Tumblr.
"And Lord Pinewood hasn’t been the same since that blow to the head at River’s End!"
You would think “PUSSY WAGON” would have been more of a tip-off.
One object, two powerfully different meanings.
#4. The Bottle Flask in Children of Men
Clive Owen plays Theo Faron, a former activist who has become a drunken bureaucrat. Since the death of his son and subsequent divorce, he no longer cares about society. From his first introduction into the film, he carries a flask-shaped liquor bottle.
Later in the movie, Theo gets drawn into a resistance movement — that he must also flee — as he safeguards the life of perhaps the only pregnant woman on the planet. When that woman goes into labor, Theo must help deliver the child in a filthy room, and does his best to create a sanitary environment. After a quick wash, he pours out his liquor bottle to sterilize his hands. When Theo did not care about others, the flask-shaped liquor bottle represented drunk indifference, but as he begins to think of others, that same object becomes a symbol of compassion. It becomes a symbol of charity and commitment.