BAD NEWS: Facebook’s been doing psychological experiments on you. GOOD NEWS: you can use it to do experiments on everyone else.
6 Everyday Gadgets That Are Secretly Personality Tests
#5. Facebook External Intelligence Test
You can’t walk up to your family with specialized tests to see if they’re worth talking to unless you’re in Scientology. … But after a few [Facebook] posts, you know which relatives can be tuned out faster than others, which are too keen about babysitting on religious holidays, and whose financial advice should be taken with a dehydrated Pacific Ocean of salt.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if you took American Gladiators, exported it to Russia, and ran it through their patented Fuckstripper(TM) to remove every last fuck it ever had to give?
6 Real Martial Arts Tournaments Crazier Than ‘Mortal Kombat’
#6. Hip Show
Complete with a flame-bearded announcer straight out of The Hunger Games, Hip Show features full-contact team martial arts fighting with an added twist: It takes place inside a mazelike three-level obstacle course. If you’re wondering how throwing down in a group brawl while standing precariously near the edge of raised platforms could possibly be a good idea, we humbly submit that it is not a good idea. It is the best idea.
“It might seem crazy that nurses would have a high rate of addiction, considering that we’re more knowledgeable about the horrible effects of drugs than the average person. But that’s the problem: We’re too close to drugs.”
5 Terrifying Things I Learned as a Drug-Addicted Nurse
#5. There’s Nothing to Stop You from Stealing Drugs and Needles
My drug of choice was Dilaudid, an opioid analgesic typically given to patients who are allergic to morphine (it also happens to be 7 to 10 times stronger than morphine). At the hospital, we stored it in 2-milligram vials, but since physicians almost never ordered that strong a dose, it was really easy for me to administer a portion of the vial and pocket the rest. How is that possible, when every day kids are yanked off the street for having a single rock of crack cocaine in their pocket?
Well, when you dispose of leftover narcotics, you’re supposed to find another RN to “witness the waste,” meaning you squirt it into a hazardous material bin while they watch. But if you’ve ever been to a hospital, you probably have some idea of how much people care about watching their co-worker throw something away…
What the shit, Riverdale?
4 Ways Archie Comics Have Gone F***ing Crazy
#4. Archie Gets Shot for Big Sales
This past week, Archie Comics went the distance and flat-out fucking killed their eponymous star. OK, so he only died in Life With Archie, a comic about an alternate reality where Archie’s an adult. Sure, Archie sacrifices himself to an assassin’s bullet that was meant for his gay pal. But holy shit, people, this is Archie we’re talking about. He’s not Superman, out there fighting universe-eating aliens on the daily. Motherfucker’s pissed away the past seven decades drinking milkshakes and failing calculus. Archie’s shooting is like cracking open the funny pages only to witness Hi and Lois getting executed by FARC guerrillas or Ziggy ODing on muscle relaxants.