Jack has a hypeman, and you’ve got a better job than you think.
They socked it to THE FUTURE
“Make it gross, Number One.”
#5. Star Trek: The Next Generation Is Full of References to Silly Anime
In the episode “The Icarus Factor,” the Enterprise’s first officer, William Riker, has to deal with personal issues concerning his estranged father that he thinks can only be achieved by whaling on him with a stick. Hence Riker challenges his father to Anbo-jyutsu, a made-up Japanese-esque martial art played in an arena with the Japanese character for “star” written in the middle and the words “Ataru” and “Ramu” beside it. There is also a Japanese banner in the back that reads “Urusei Yatsura.” I’d make a joke about how that translates to “tits and ass,” but it wouldn’t actually be a joke.
“DUDE THIS MOVIE IS SO AWESOME for like that second.”
#6. Drive Aims for the Fast and the Furious Crowd, Gets Sued
The trailer is the equivalent of piecing together all of the tornado action from The Wizard of Oz and selling it as a Twister prequel. Drive is, for the most part, a slow, classy art film with occasional scenes of intense action perforating long shots of Gosling driving around the city, gazing silently ahead and contemplating life. … Don’t get us wrong — as a film, all of this plays to Drive's advantage. The contrast between long, silent gazing shots and Gosling stomping a man to death in an elevator is memorable stuff. But anyone who showed up looking for the advertised high-octane action movie had to feel like they were the victim of a prank. One woman was so pissed off that she filed a lawsuit that demanded a refund on her ticket, as well as an end to the practice of releasing misleading movie trailers.
This city needs a crazy vigilante with no superpowers. Wait, why does it need that?
This series wasn’t bad. Rom.Com is still the best. Go watch that. And, like, all of Cracked’s videos. Just, don’t leave your house ever. Cracked.com. All the time. It’s a thing.
That is mostly a compliment and we thank you for it!
The new Cracked Podcast episode wants to change your life. And its soundtrack’s changing, remixing and celebrating your favorite artists:
- "Kanye" by The Chainsmokers feat. Siren
- "Nightchain" (Wale x Kavinsky) by The Hood Internet
- "Sock It 2 Summer" (Missy Elliott x Blood Cultures), also by The Hood Internet
SO happy there’s a playlist for this! :)
There’s a new episode Monday! In the meantime, bump this in your earbuds.
Cracked was challenged to put ice water on our heads in support of ALS. We have in turned challenged our good buddies/enemies for life CollegeHumor. This was the second time Soren and I covered ourselves in ice water together. The first time was for a different thing.
The first time remains a closely guarded secret and you’ll never get the details out of us.
Now here’s a GIF of thisdanobrien's WWE-worthy finish:
In the pantheon of art, one work stands above the rest as a celebration of the divine (painting) and the lowbrow (animals sinning). That work is “Dogs Playing Poker” (C. M. Coolidge). And the gods of pop culture function like those chummy mutts, bringing together holy might with the fact that it’s just a comic book. So put all your cultural cards on the table with this design from Joon Kim and idea from Cody Johnston. And try to figure out if Kratos is bluffing … his grin says “definitely,” but his mind might be like “Remember that time I filleted a deity?” [GET IT HERE]
If you get to carry a gun and break traffic laws, you might need to make a conscious effort to otherwise be a regular Joe.
#4. Cops Separate Themselves From the Community
To someone on the outside, one of the most baffling parts of the Ferguson Police Department’s response to their shooting of an unarmed teenager was when they refused to name the officer who pulled the trigger. “If we come out and say, ‘It was this officer,’ then he immediately becomes a target,” the Ferguson, MO police chief said, about officer Darren Wilson, the cop who shot 18 year-old Mike Brown. “We’re taking the threats seriously.” The reason it seemed strange is because it implied that the cops don’t see themselves as part of the community. In a perfect world, the police chief should look at a dead kid and be like, “Wow, this whole town needs to work together to figure out what happened here, because a child is dead, and that is unacceptable.” But instead he prioritized the comfort and security of his officer over the comfort and security of his community, which … okay, non-rhetorical question: Isn’t that literally the opposite of his job?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha what?
Without going into all the details, because I don’t really understand all the details, Lojban’s vocabulary and grammar prevent ambiguity; a correctly formed Lojban sentence will have only one semantic meaning. You can sort of see how this would appeal to a certain mind, someone who has posters of well-designed data structures on their walls and cries during Kraftwerk shows. But as a writer, one obvious-sounding limitation of a language like this is the fact that ambiguity is one of the things that makes languages fun. Entire branches of humor are predicated on hilarious double meanings. Although most double entendres are now horrible cliches, the premise behind them lies at the core of many, many other chuckle delivery vehicles.