Oh to have a female-driven slapstick cartoon in the black & white era.
4 Bit Characters Who Deserved Way More Attention

#3. Bluto’s Girlfriend From Popeye
Bluto’s girlfriend shows up in exactly one episode, cheering on her boy toy’s baseball team against Popeye’s. Aside from being kind of loud and obnoxious about it (making her the perfect Yankees fan), she actually doesn’t do anything remotely Bluto-like. If anything, Olive’s the terrible person this time around. Once Popeye wins (thanks to a round of performance-enhancing produce), Olive fully unleashes the bully within. The cartoon ends with her lording over a deathly-afraid Bluto’s Girlfriend and forcing her to sing the Popeye theme while choking back tears. … Give Bluto a steady girlfriend — one who despises Olive for emasculating her — and there’s the fresh dynamic this series has needed since forever. Bluto’s Girlfriend would have a gigantic chip on her shoulder after her first go-round with the good(ish) guys ended with a 62-pound woman kicking her ass for no reason.

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Oh to have a female-driven slapstick cartoon in the black & white era.

4 Bit Characters Who Deserved Way More Attention

#3. Bluto’s Girlfriend From Popeye

Bluto’s girlfriend shows up in exactly one episode, cheering on her boy toy’s baseball team against Popeye’s. Aside from being kind of loud and obnoxious about it (making her the perfect Yankees fan), she actually doesn’t do anything remotely Bluto-like. If anything, Olive’s the terrible person this time around. Once Popeye wins (thanks to a round of performance-enhancing produce), Olive fully unleashes the bully within. The cartoon ends with her lording over a deathly-afraid Bluto’s Girlfriend and forcing her to sing the Popeye theme while choking back tears. … Give Bluto a steady girlfriend — one who despises Olive for emasculating her — and there’s the fresh dynamic this series has needed since forever. Bluto’s Girlfriend would have a gigantic chip on her shoulder after her first go-round with the good(ish) guys ended with a 62-pound woman kicking her ass for no reason.

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Meet the official spider of Camp Crystal Lake.
24 Terrifying Real World Monsters You Won’t Believe Exist

Meet the official spider of Camp Crystal Lake.

24 Terrifying Real World Monsters You Won’t Believe Exist

Oddly enough, 1989’s The Wizard isn’t the best primer on most aspects of real life.
6 Harsh Realities of Life as a Video Game Tournament Winner

#6. The Demographics Aren’t What You Expect
Admittedly, I wasn’t expecting the competition to consist solely of privileged white kids under the age of 14 like in the movie, but I did have expectations. Thanks to YouTube videos of teenagers shrieking like they’re trying to prove to their god that they should be reincarnated as eagles, the people who participate in video game tournaments are stereotyped as Mountain-Dew-soaked acne banshees who have yet to discover the redemptive blend of hot water and shampoo. While those people certainly make up a tiny percentage, video game tournaments, even ones as relatively small as the one I participated in, contain a bunch of demographics, all brought together by a love of Nintendo brawls and comfy desk chairs.

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Oddly enough, 1989’s The Wizard isn’t the best primer on most aspects of real life.

6 Harsh Realities of Life as a Video Game Tournament Winner

#6. The Demographics Aren’t What You Expect

Admittedly, I wasn’t expecting the competition to consist solely of privileged white kids under the age of 14 like in the movie, but I did have expectations. Thanks to YouTube videos of teenagers shrieking like they’re trying to prove to their god that they should be reincarnated as eagles, the people who participate in video game tournaments are stereotyped as Mountain-Dew-soaked acne banshees who have yet to discover the redemptive blend of hot water and shampoo. While those people certainly make up a tiny percentage, video game tournaments, even ones as relatively small as the one I participated in, contain a bunch of demographics, all brought together by a love of Nintendo brawls and comfy desk chairs.

Read More

A lot has been blogged about the fake “Nice Guy” and what is wrong with him. What Christina H wants to talk about is his mirror image, the “Nice Girl” — the female who goes a little nuts after failing to get guys. 
5 Confessions of a Female “Nice Guy”

#5. There Is A Type of Girl Who Cannot Get Any Guy
One of my pet peeves is guys who assume all women are all getting it on whenever they want, and that it’s only guys who worry about not being able to get a date. There’s no such a thing as a woman who can’t get a man, the view goes, and if she doesn’t have one, she must just be too picky.
If you’re a woman who can’t get anybody interested in her, like I was for a long time, this is confusing, because apparently you don’t exist. Or at least, you’re not a woman — you’re just some weird technicality that is nitpicking a nice rant about actual women.

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A lot has been blogged about the fake “Nice Guy” and what is wrong with him. What Christina H wants to talk about is his mirror image, the “Nice Girl” — the female who goes a little nuts after failing to get guys. 

5 Confessions of a Female “Nice Guy”

#5. There Is A Type of Girl Who Cannot Get Any Guy

One of my pet peeves is guys who assume all women are all getting it on whenever they want, and that it’s only guys who worry about not being able to get a date. There’s no such a thing as a woman who can’t get a man, the view goes, and if she doesn’t have one, she must just be too picky.

If you’re a woman who can’t get anybody interested in her, like I was for a long time, this is confusing, because apparently you don’t exist. Or at least, you’re not a woman — you’re just some weird technicality that is nitpicking a nice rant about actual women.

Read More

jennybobenny73:

cracked:

WE WANT YOUR STORIES. Our Personal Experience team turns real-life adventures of guarding Gitmo, legal prostitution, teenage kidnapping and more into Cracked articles seen by millions. We promise anonymity, and we promise you’ll see anything we write before it goes up on Cracked.
Want to share the truth behind your underground fighting ring/courageous whistleblowing/prehensile tail? Drop us a line at tips@cracked.com. You can even type the message with your tail. We don’t judge.

Best written and most interesting articles on cracked, in my opinion. Favorite ones.

jennybobenny73:

cracked:

WE WANT YOUR STORIES. Our Personal Experience team turns real-life adventures of guarding Gitmo, legal prostitution, teenage kidnapping and more into Cracked articles seen by millions. We promise anonymity, and we promise you’ll see anything we write before it goes up on Cracked.

Want to share the truth behind your underground fighting ring/courageous whistleblowing/prehensile tail? Drop us a line at tips@cracked.com. You can even type the message with your tail. We don’t judge.

Best written and most interesting articles on cracked, in my opinion. Favorite ones.

Some weird jobs are surprising. And some are so surprising, you didn’t even know they exist.
5 Things I Learned Selling My Used Panties Online

#5. There is an eBay for Dirty Panties
Like most stories involving the exchange of used undergarments for cash, it started on the Internet. I was browsing Reddit one day and came across a subreddit called “/r/pantyselling.” I figured that as long as I could do it anonymously, what would it hurt to try? I took two or three photos and made a $75 sale in one hour. That’s more money than I’d make working an entire shift at my day job. I suddenly found myself at a crossroads, where my options were “eliminate what little remains of my free time and double the stress in my life” or “mail my panties to strangers on the Internet when I was done wearing them.”
It was not a difficult decision.

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Some weird jobs are surprising. And some are so surprising, you didn’t even know they exist.

5 Things I Learned Selling My Used Panties Online

#5. There is an eBay for Dirty Panties

Like most stories involving the exchange of used undergarments for cash, it started on the Internet. I was browsing Reddit one day and came across a subreddit called “/r/pantyselling.” I figured that as long as I could do it anonymously, what would it hurt to try? I took two or three photos and made a $75 sale in one hour. That’s more money than I’d make working an entire shift at my day job. I suddenly found myself at a crossroads, where my options were “eliminate what little remains of my free time and double the stress in my life” or “mail my panties to strangers on the Internet when I was done wearing them.”

It was not a difficult decision.

Read More

twsboac:

cracked:

*joins a convent*
18 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Terribly Wrong

Spoiler alert, most of this is butt stuff.
So this is your reminder, everyone, to NOT PUT THINGS IN YOUR BUTT THAT ARE NOT BUTT-SAFE. ONLY USE THINGS THAT ARE NON-POROUS, SOLID, AND HAVE A FLARED BASE TO ACT AS AN ANCHOR OUTSIDE THE BODY.

twsboac:

cracked:

*joins a convent*

18 Horrifying Ways Sex Can Go Terribly Wrong

Spoiler alert, most of this is butt stuff.

So this is your reminder, everyone, to NOT PUT THINGS IN YOUR BUTT THAT ARE NOT BUTT-SAFE. ONLY USE THINGS THAT ARE NON-POROUS, SOLID, AND HAVE A FLARED BASE TO ACT AS AN ANCHOR OUTSIDE THE BODY.

Still better than the remake.
31 Classic Horror Movies Ruined by Modern Technology
In case you needed proof adulthood is magic…
The 6 Most Insane Adult Versions of Beloved Kids Games

#6. A Giant-Size, Working Version of Mouse Trap
[Mark] Perez spent a decade and a half of his life building a 25-ton version of the game that uses an actual bathtub instead of a plastic one, and a bowling ball instead of a little marble. This monumentally unstable beast actually manages to operate as intended, which is something we could never get the original plastic counterpart to do. You can see the ball going around the whole circuit, triggering all the different mechanisms…

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In case you needed proof adulthood is magic…

The 6 Most Insane Adult Versions of Beloved Kids Games

#6. A Giant-Size, Working Version of Mouse Trap

[Mark] Perez spent a decade and a half of his life building a 25-ton version of the game that uses an actual bathtub instead of a plastic one, and a bowling ball instead of a little marble. This monumentally unstable beast actually manages to operate as intended, which is something we could never get the original plastic counterpart to do. You can see the ball going around the whole circuit, triggering all the different mechanisms…

Read More

Never fear, because this video solves every possible snorigami problem.

5 Rules of Body Placement When Sleeping With Someone