Seriously, how great is Braveheart? From its bitchin’ story structure to its ability to get you AND your dad in front of basic cable on a Saturday, it’s one of those perfect long movies you don’t mind sitting all the way through. This design by Redbubble regular Buko gives William Wallace the epic rendering he deserves, in a mashup that turns one badass speech into an entire philosophy. And yes, the original Che shirt’s become the dorm room Bob Marley poster of political tees. So recapture that magic in a reimagined, French princess-approved format, because they can take our land but they can never take our originality. [GET IT HERE]
Hi Scotland, can we offer you a t-shirt?
“How wasted were we?” — Europe, after
6 Historic Events You Didn’t Realize Everyone Was Drunk For
#5. The Congress of Vienna Was a Drunken, Horny Mess
The Vienna Congress gathered Europe’s richest, most powerful boozehounds and sex fiends together in one place, and then it granted them all diplomatic immunity. … Over the following weeks of drunken debauchery, Prussian and Russian delegates including Tsar Alexander had several regular drunken run-ins with the police. One British delegate, Robert Stewart, became notorious for antics like riding under the influence through Vienna on his flower-adorned horse and fighting carriage drivers, one of whom cracked Stewart in the face with a whip during an altercation. Stewart also turned every inn he stayed at into what locals aptly described as a “fucking-shop.”
Join Luis Prada on his long-overdue encounter with Kangaroo Black Voice and White Rihanna.
5 Failed Attempts At Keeping Up With Modern Pop Music
#4. Iggy Azalea Feat. Rita Ora — “Black Widow”
If rappers had to perform the skits they put on their albums in front of a crowd, the only laughs they’d get would come from the sound beer bottles make when they shatter against teeth. So a rapper opening their music video with a comedy sketch is like a chef serving a jar of fart as an appetizer. … From there, the video turns into a take on Kill Bill. Azalea waves a sword in a dojo for eight seconds and becomes a warrior. Then a ninja comes in and throws a dart at her face, which turns out to be an order to kill Michael Madsen.
Remember that part in Trans4mers: Most of This Movie Is Chinese Commercials where the Transformers go find the Dinobots, but then Optimus Prime has to fight them by himself while everybody else sits around? That shitty movie’s shitty scene truly captures how difficult the job of Autobot-in-Chief can be. We decided to celebrate OP in a better way: a T-shirt by designer Philippbo that refuses to shrug in the face of Decepticon trickery and Cybertron’s weight. Get it in black, slate, or navy, and remember that no matter how hard life gets, a talking truck has it way harder. [GET IT HERE]
You’ll basically never take the right amount of credit for anything…even if you write something inspiring about it on a stock photo.
4 Social Situations No One Ever Gets Right
If you want an easy example, watch any post-match interview of an athlete who scored the decisive goal/point/goat explosion. Cringe at the way their mouth says, “It was a team effort,” while their eyes, still wide and sparkling from adrenaline, distinctly chant, “Everyone else is a weakling — I am the sportsman that mounts the world!” over and over again. That’s fake humility, right there, to an extent where it’s actually kind of scary. Remove that guy from the deranged-by-default sports interview environment, and see if you wouldn’t cross the street at the merest glance of that serial-killery motherfucker.
Before you chime in against the “white knights”, ask yourself this simple question: “Would what I’m about to say get me yelled at or punched in my stupid fucking face if I said it in real life?”
4 Ways Gamers Still Suck at Dealing With Women
#4. We’re Incapable of Mature Conversations About Gender
There’s a baffling disconnect where gamers want to be taken seriously, but they also want to be able to call Quinn (or Anita Sarkeesian, or Brianna Wu, or Jennifer Hepler, or the woman who just chainsawed them in half in Gears of War) insults that the average convicted sex offender would consider over the line. They want to have their asshole cake and eat it too.
Well, guess what? If you can’t talk like an adult, then you have to keep sitting at the kids table. But I’ll let you in on another secret: it’s not hard to talk like a sane adult human.
NASHVILLE: We will be in you Sept. 24th at 7:30pm. Our resident rapper-laureate MS Werd (Michael Swaim) is bringing Soren Bowie, Cody Johnston, Jack O’Brien, Daniel O’Brien, David Wong and more of your site favorites to Zanies Nashville with a veritable assfull of stand-up comedy, music, factoids, un-aired sketches, panels, podcasts, and list-formatted musings. Come meet the gang, hear some things, see some things, think some things, and who knows…maybe even feel some things, too.* It’s the biggest CRACKED show ever, and it’s happening near you! OH, FRABJOUS DAY!
*Not a guarantee. Offer not valid for sociopaths.
Look, we’re sorry elleine35, but that really doesn’t apply to sociopaths.