"Child stars who are best off as adults usually do one or two projects, then get the hell out of Hollywood, at least for the next few years. They go to Harvard or Yale (or my alma mater, NYU, which has been called ‘Where Child Stars Come to Die’) and learn to do something besides act." — Mara Wilson, '7 Reasons Child Stars Go Crazy (An Insider's Perspective)'
Whatever happened, that’ll help.
#4. Hitting Your Own Mattress After the Worst Day Ever
The best cure for a terrible day, assuming your terrible day doesn’t involve you running for your life throughout the night, is one perfect night of sleep. And even if tomorrow is worse than today, even if the shitstorm rises to a crescendo of foul bastardry that makes you curse the day your father forgot to use a condom, for a pristine moment, when you’re on a firm but not-too-firm mattress, a soft pillow, a comforting blanket — damn, that’s the stuff.
In which Jaime required coffee in order to sit through the wedding vows. [x]
OMFG BEST MISTAKE EVER
Did the Tyrells bring Starbucks to King’s Landing?
Jaime Lannister shows up 15 minutes late with Starbucks and a gold hand.
This is obviously proof that coffee restores previously severed appendages.
"[In Masters and Johnson’s sex studies], partners were matched randomly (if you still think that sounds awesome, the next time you’re in line at Burger King, imagine getting randomly matched up for sex with any one of the people around you). Oh, by the way, the subjects ranged in age from 18 to 89. … We’re not knocking the work Masters and Johnson did—it was absolutely revolutionary and totally changed the way the modern world thinks about sex. We’re just saying it wasn’t the erotic carnival of flesh the subjects probably had in mind upon entering a sex laboratory." #CrackedClassic
"Also my penmanship is really coming along."
If it’s not a killer shark movie, why even show up to set?
#5. Richard Dreyfuss — Silver City, then Poseidon
Dreyfuss wanted to do something worthwhile [after Silver City], so he went back to theater and scored a role in the musical version of The Producers. Finally, he felt alive again! No more of that Hollywood bullshit! What’s that? You had no idea the guy from Close Encounters of the Third Kind could sing and dance? He can’t, so he got fired. He says he “trolled for work” during this time (mostly on the IMDb message board for Mel Brooks, I’m guessing), but at least he still had his dignity. Then Wolfgang Petersen came along and asked him to drown that dignity in a big studio water tank, and Dreyfuss said sure.
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"Do you have any long term life goals in mind?"
"What career options does your current job have?"
"Don’t you want to fall in love and get married and have kids, like your friends?"
(If you’ve seen the web series that these gifs are from—which you should, it’s hilarious—then you get the irony. Am I using irony right? Alanis steered me wrong and I’ve never recovered.)
And we were all
And god forbid you want to see those genius gay characters smooch.
THERE’S A NEW AFTER HOURS OUT AND IT’S ABOUT STEREOTYPES I’M SO EXCITED
AS SOON AS I’M DONE WATCHING THIS MOVIE I’M GONNA BE ALL OVER THIS
ps if you don’t watch after hours you are missing out
If you like After Hours so much why don’t you
marry it vote for it for a Webby?
Hey, who ordered the fish to go?
The pelican kills me
We’ve got that and a whole bunch more animal dickery where that came from, all set to Chance the Rapper. Also hi Natalie Morales.