CRACKED.com

Apr 16

[video]

And unless you have an iPhone, it works like a charm!
25 Seemingly Minor Inventions That Totally Changed Your Life

And unless you have an iPhone, it works like a charm!

25 Seemingly Minor Inventions That Totally Changed Your Life

Pro tip: if you don’t want cops spelunking in your rectum, make sure you don’t…not commit crimes?
5 Terrifying Ways Police Can Legally Screw You Over

#5. Throw You in Jail and Repeatedly Strip Search You (Even if You’re Innocent)
Take the case of Albert Florence, the last guy you’d imagine getting shit from the cops: As a happily married family man with a spotless record, he was the definition of an average, non-threatening middle-class dude. This did little to save him from the long, overly grabby hand of justice when a cop pulled him and his wife (who was driving) over for speeding … and promptly arrested Florence. Their computer said he had an unpaid fine from seven years ago, and thus he had an arrest warrant on his ass. So, off to jail he went, where they kept him locked away for a full week.
Florence’s only entertainment in the strange pit of despair his life had suddenly become were the two full-on strip searches he had to go through, complete with the whole “lift your balls in front of observers and cough” experience.

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Pro tip: if you don’t want cops spelunking in your rectum, make sure you don’t…not commit crimes?

5 Terrifying Ways Police Can Legally Screw You Over

#5. Throw You in Jail and Repeatedly Strip Search You (Even if You’re Innocent)

Take the case of Albert Florence, the last guy you’d imagine getting shit from the cops: As a happily married family man with a spotless record, he was the definition of an average, non-threatening middle-class dude. This did little to save him from the long, overly grabby hand of justice when a cop pulled him and his wife (who was driving) over for speeding … and promptly arrested Florence. Their computer said he had an unpaid fine from seven years ago, and thus he had an arrest warrant on his ass. So, off to jail he went, where they kept him locked away for a full week.

Florence’s only entertainment in the strange pit of despair his life had suddenly become were the two full-on strip searches he had to go through, complete with the whole “lift your balls in front of observers and cough” experience.

Read More

sorenbowie:

I like to think it’s not a coincidence that our Webby nomination mirrors the Ride Along home page skin because it means someone is intentionally equating me to Ice Cube. 

VOTE for Soren/Ice and DOB/Kevin today!

sorenbowie:

I like to think it’s not a coincidence that our Webby nomination mirrors the Ride Along home page skin because it means someone is intentionally equating me to Ice Cube. 

VOTE for Soren/Ice and DOB/Kevin today!

As much as we want to see Betsy Ross fight werewolves with that sewing needle…
5 Types of Movie Adaptations That Must Be Stopped

#5. Public Domain Monster Mashups
Examples: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Cowboys & Aliens, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, I, Frankenstein
Here’s a quick formula for a successful movie. Step one: Take a historical figure or a fictional character whose creator died long enough ago for their work to be in the public domain. Step two: Add a randomly selected creature or monster from the urban fantasy shelf in the nearest bookstore. Step three: Make a movie in which these two things either team up or fight each other to the death. Congratulations! You have just printed yourself a lot of money.

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As much as we want to see Betsy Ross fight werewolves with that sewing needle…

5 Types of Movie Adaptations That Must Be Stopped

#5. Public Domain Monster Mashups

Examples: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Cowboys & Aliens, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, I, Frankenstein

Here’s a quick formula for a successful movie. Step one: Take a historical figure or a fictional character whose creator died long enough ago for their work to be in the public domain. Step two: Add a randomly selected creature or monster from the urban fantasy shelf in the nearest bookstore. Step three: Make a movie in which these two things either team up or fight each other to the death. Congratulations! You have just printed yourself a lot of money.

Read More

[video]

23 Awesome Casting Changes That Would Save Bad Movies

23 Awesome Casting Changes That Would Save Bad Movies

While Saved by the Bell and Good Morning, Miss Bliss had some similarities (characters), the differences (mind-bending) are glaring and lead to a startling truth… #CrackedClassic
Why ‘Saved by the Bell’ is All a Dream: A Conspiracy Theory

While Saved by the Bell and Good Morning, Miss Bliss had some similarities (characters), the differences (mind-bending) are glaring and lead to a startling truth… #CrackedClassic

Why ‘Saved by the Bell’ is All a Dream: A Conspiracy Theory

29 Baffling Rules of Life in Video Game Universes

29 Baffling Rules of Life in Video Game Universes

Apr 15

Everyone get your markers out: It’s once again time to weed through your Facebook feed to furiously black out yet another week’s worth of sloppy and gullible news reporting.
4 B.S. Viral News Stories That Fooled Your Friends (Part 20)

#3. A UNC Player Didn’t Get an A- on a One-Paragraph Essay
As the story continued to unfold, the whistleblower herself had to clarify that the A- was actually the final overall grade of the student … who made that paper for an introductory assignment … that was actually a first draft copy with no grade … and wasn’t for a bogus class. ESPN just edited the video so that the moment she showed the paper came right after the part where she was talking about “classes that didn’t exist,” and sports journalists did the rest.

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Everyone get your markers out: It’s once again time to weed through your Facebook feed to furiously black out yet another week’s worth of sloppy and gullible news reporting.

4 B.S. Viral News Stories That Fooled Your Friends (Part 20)

#3. A UNC Player Didn’t Get an A- on a One-Paragraph Essay

As the story continued to unfold, the whistleblower herself had to clarify that the A- was actually the final overall grade of the student … who made that paper for an introductory assignment … that was actually a first draft copy with no grade … and wasn’t for a bogus class. ESPN just edited the video so that the moment she showed the paper came right after the part where she was talking about “classes that didn’t exist,” and sports journalists did the rest.

Read More