For fakey movie effects, they’re pretty realistic.
4 Signs The Matrix Directors’ Next Film Won’t Be 100% Crap

#4. The Action: The Matrix, but Not The Matrix Revolutions
While there’s no absolute guarantee that Jupiter Ascending won’t ride the same CGI Hindenburg [as the Matrix sequels] into oblivion, both Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum have mentioned the production’s extensive use of wire stunts — meaning that while we’re still going to get emotionless sex puppets doing air ballet in slow motion, we can at least be assured that they will be human emotionless sex puppets and not CGI constructs.

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For fakey movie effects, they’re pretty realistic.

4 Signs The Matrix Directors’ Next Film Won’t Be 100% Crap

#4. The Action: The Matrix, but Not The Matrix Revolutions

While there’s no absolute guarantee that Jupiter Ascending won’t ride the same CGI Hindenburg [as the Matrix sequels] into oblivion, both Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum have mentioned the production’s extensive use of wire stunts — meaning that while we’re still going to get emotionless sex puppets doing air ballet in slow motion, we can at least be assured that they will be human emotionless sex puppets and not CGI constructs.

Read More

"Well one of us has to scam the other.”
The 6 Most Undeserving Lottery Winners in History

#5. The Winners Who Hid the Money from Their Spouses
If that seems like a dickish line of thinking, Arnim Ramdass is about to prove you right. When the universe decided to compensate his unfortunate name by providing him and his lottery posse with sufficient means to ram all the ass, he knew exactly what he would do with his $600,000 share: hide that huge, heavily publicized pile of money from his wife by any means necessary. … When he was confronted, he did the classy thing and ran the hell away, leaving no traces of himself or his money save for (probably) a man-shaped hole in the wall. His wife was left facing an eviction and a pile of bills that he had neglected to pay.

Read More

"Well one of us has to scam the other.”

The 6 Most Undeserving Lottery Winners in History

#5. The Winners Who Hid the Money from Their Spouses

If that seems like a dickish line of thinking, Arnim Ramdass is about to prove you right. When the universe decided to compensate his unfortunate name by providing him and his lottery posse with sufficient means to ram all the ass, he knew exactly what he would do with his $600,000 share: hide that huge, heavily publicized pile of money from his wife by any means necessary. … When he was confronted, he did the classy thing and ran the hell away, leaving no traces of himself or his money save for (probably) a man-shaped hole in the wall. His wife was left facing an eviction and a pile of bills that he had neglected to pay.

Read More

Follow us on Pinterest for GIFs, Teddy Roosevelt, sneak peeks behind the scenes of Cracked, and did we mention GIFs?

Follow us on Pinterest for GIFs, Teddy Roosevelt, sneak peeks behind the scenes of Cracked, and did we mention GIFs?

MS Werd & Friends returns to Westside Comedy Theater in two weeks! Enjoy a night of music, rap, and comedy with Swaim, DOB, Cody, and some very special guests for just $5.

MS Werd & Friends returns to Westside Comedy Theater in two weeks! Enjoy a night of music, rap, and comedy with Swaim, DOB, Cody, and some very special guests for just $5.

John Cheese’s mother-in-law isn’t the only person getting screwed, but that doesn’t make it any easier.
The 5 Worst Things About Getting a Job in a Small Town

#4. Businesses Take Advantage of Part-Time Labor
When my mother-in-law moved here last year, she got a [grocery store] job doing office work and payroll. She’s basically a manager without having the title or vast flowing wizard robes of one. It’s a pretty important job, which is why they pay her enough that she can live the life of luxury in income-based housing and qualify for government assistance with food.
How? Well, first, they start by paying her a single-digit per-hour wage (even after a raise), and as the manager told her with pride, “That’s the most we’ve ever paid anyone for this position! You’re doing great work!” Second, they have only two or three full-time employees, and she’s not one of them. Everyone who isn’t full-time is prohibited from working more than 28 hours per week so that they can avoid legally mandated healthcare benefits. Score!

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John Cheese’s mother-in-law isn’t the only person getting screwed, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

The 5 Worst Things About Getting a Job in a Small Town

#4. Businesses Take Advantage of Part-Time Labor

When my mother-in-law moved here last year, she got a [grocery store] job doing office work and payroll. She’s basically a manager without having the title or vast flowing wizard robes of one. It’s a pretty important job, which is why they pay her enough that she can live the life of luxury in income-based housing and qualify for government assistance with food.

How? Well, first, they start by paying her a single-digit per-hour wage (even after a raise), and as the manager told her with pride, “That’s the most we’ve ever paid anyone for this position! You’re doing great work!” Second, they have only two or three full-time employees, and she’s not one of them. Everyone who isn’t full-time is prohibited from working more than 28 hours per week so that they can avoid legally mandated healthcare benefits. Score!

Read More

[Brendan on Tumblr]

See an exclusive behind-the-scenes Rom.Com special on our YouTube channel, and catch the whole series with this handy playlist.

Just voted for After Hours for the Webby Awards. This is by far my favorite internet series. The writing is fantastic and not only does every episode make me laugh, I feel like I learn something too. Fantastic!

thisdanobrien:

Thanks, new friend!

For those who DON’T know, After Hours is nominated for a Webby Award for Best Writing. Every Webby award is technically (potentially) two awards. We’re in a category with four other nominees and a panel of official judges will pick their favorite. That’s the “proper” Webby, I guess, for lack of a better word.

The other thing is the Audience Choice award, which is determined entirely by you, the internet-going audience when you vote. We have previously won the Audience Choice award for Best Humor Site for the last two years.

This is the first time After Hours (and Cracked Video) has gotten some legitimate recognition. After Hours has always done well in terms of traffic and our audience likes it, and those are to be clear the only metrics that ACTUALLY matter, but it’s still nice to be included in categories like this, because it means the industry-at-large is at the very least aware of us. It’s also a nomination that specifically calls out the writing, which is pleasant.

Again, awards don’t actually mean anything. We didn’t make this show to win an award and go to a party, we made it because we like talking about Back to the Future. Winning or not winning an award will in no way impact the future of After Hours; we’ll keep making them as long as you keep liking them. If you’ve got a lot of running around to do today or if you, like me, hate signing in/signing up for things, don’t worry about it. But if you happen to have some free time, vote for After Hours to win the Audience Choice Webby for writing, if you think we’ve earned it.

[VOTE HERE]

Technically you can be a Millenial in any millenium.
6 Hilarious Old-Timey Versions of Modern Vices

#6. Selfies
So how far back does this fad go? How about to one of the people who invented the freaking camera, photography pioneer Robert Cornelius? … Even old-timey celebrities got in on the action. [Above] you’ll see 13-year-old Grand Duchess Anastasia showing off the 1913 equivalent of duckface: abject terror face.

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Technically you can be a Millenial in any millenium.

6 Hilarious Old-Timey Versions of Modern Vices

#6. Selfies

So how far back does this fad go? How about to one of the people who invented the freaking camera, photography pioneer Robert Cornelius? … Even old-timey celebrities got in on the action. [Above] you’ll see 13-year-old Grand Duchess Anastasia showing off the 1913 equivalent of duckface: abject terror face.

Read More

27 Classes We Wish They Forced People to Take in School