More like “Enjoy Being the Purchaser of a Useless Hooha Cannon.”
It was obvious the moment he started assembling his army of Cumberbitches.
#5. Star Trek Into Darkness is 9/11 Conspiracy Theory Propaganda
Before we get into the details, keep this in mind: this movie — which is about a space terrorist being used as an excuse to further a secret space military agenda (in space) — was co-written by Roberto Orci, who’s espoused Truther sentiments on Twitter, the official platform for legitimate political debate, as well as on Star Trek message boards, the second-most-official platform for legitimate political debate. How these conspiracy theory ramblings managed to manifest themselves as a Star Trek motion picture and not just a convoluted blog post, well … that’s the magic of Hollywood. Did we mention that in the credits, the film was dedicated to “Post-9/11 Veterans?” A nice sentiment, but a little out of left field, right?
"…and if you happened to have a grandmother who worked within five miles of the White House during Kennedy’s Administration, I’m very sorry to be the one to tell you this, but yes, her too."
Plus your sweat totally doesn’t turn that cool blue color.
Hey buddy! See you Wednesday!
And CinemaSins breaks down everything wrong with a movie as quickly/specifically/brilliantly as possible, occasionally for us and mainly on their killer YouTube channel. Check them out. Run don’t walk. Honestly jealous today’s the day you see their stuff for the first time.
Tickets are going fast for this show and we’re expecting a lot of walk ins, so get your tickets now! There are two stages of anxiety I have for every show, and we’ve recently entered the second. Here they are:
Stage One: No one is going to come to this show, it’s just going to be me on stage plus some drunks that wandered in by mistake and maybe every bully I’ve ever had. I’m going to perform for eight people who won’t laugh and the promoter will be mad at me and everyone will be mad and I will have done a bad job. I wish I’d never agreed to do this.
Stage Two: We sold how many tickets? Oh, shit that’s a lot. Oh no. Okay. Oh no. That’s a lot of people to disappoint, okay, crap, farts, oh no. What if i do a terrible job and they’re all mad? What if I do a GREAT job and they want to talk to me after? How do I make sure I’m the thing they want me to be? Oh no. I wish I’d never agreed to do this.
Anyway I hope you like my jokes. Performing live is my favorite thing to do that will ultimately kill me from the inside out.
Starting October 6th, it’s a whole new final frontier.
FAIR QUESTION MA’AM
Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead
First, know that I actually sat through this entire film, and it was a chore. I bounced like a madman between delight and shame and incredulous disbelief over and over again as the movie played out. But anyway, here’s the plot as I understand it. There’s a girl who is afraid of bugs and as such her sister gets her head flushed in a toilet by schoolgirl bullies. To overcome this, she goes on a road trip with a boobie girl, her 40-year-old drug-addled/rapist boyfriend, a normal girl, and a nerd with a pageboy haircut who literally no one on the trip admits to knowing. Why is he there? There’s a scene in which his presence is questioned and no one owns up to even knowing who he is. How did he get there?
Any place is within the realm of possibility for us EXCEPT AUSTRALIA
We did a stand-up show there earlier this year! Also DOB will be there mid-October. And we’re usually in town for the Webbys (if we’re nominated (which we tend to be (because our fans are the greatest))).
And we’d love to put on another NYC show soon, especially if this Nashville show (tickets still available) turns out to be a fun time. Any place you’d recommend we do it?